Just Like Clay, find myself wanting to now who was on the next tape and why-I loved Clay as a character and I really enjoyed the way he was written into the story. I felt like I was in his shoes a lot of the time, hearing the tapes through his ears and experiencing this journey alongside him. The suspense of each following tape was entertaining, I wanted to know which tape Clay would be featured and when his story was coming up, this gave me a sense of impatience.
Each time a new character was introduced was a sigh of relief as it wasn't Clays turn to be humiliated, I found myself wanting what was best for him but also wanted to know how and why he was Involved In the death of Hannah Baker. There's something addictive about this book. I couldn't stop reading It because I desperately needed to know what was next. I felt kind of ashamed and sick to be this obsessed over a girls seclude story, even though the story Isn't true, thought of Hannah as someone I knew because throughout reading this book I had grown so attached to her and just wanted to gain closure over her death.
Having spoken to other people who have read the book, I found our difference in opinions to be quite interesting. The majority of people who I spoke with thought that Henna's reasons to decide to end her life were petty and stupid. I think that to have that opinion about the book means you have strongly misinterpreted the point of the story. Having understood it extremely well and often related parts back to my own experiences, believe that Hannah had many reasons and although some very minor, we were not able to fully comprehend the Impacts and effects of these events much Like the 13 people on the tapes.
I realized that the purpose of these tapes being sent eave consequences and can highly affect a persons life, much like they did Henna's. The tapes and their secrets were all connected and they were not sent out as blame or blackmail but as proof that you never know how much a person is hurting and one tiny movement has the ability to send them over the edge. I became extremely enraged in one particular part of the book. Tape number 13 features the school counselor and Henna's English teacher, Mr.. Porter.
At a time in Henna's life where she felt alone,defeated and extremely depressed, she managed to build up the courage to approach a counselor about her suicidal feelings, she cited that she would attempt one more time, after being mistreated numerous times already, to find some way to carry on. Mr.. Porter was her last chance and only hope of surviving and he failed to deliver appropriate advice or methods of dealing with these feelings therefore caused Hannah to make the final decision to take her life.
This part really broke me and I was encountering so many different emotions from sadness, to anger, disappointment, I felt let down and unpeel like Hannah. I would describe Mr.. Porter as the cherry on top of the cake, a cake of really crappy experiences and retreat for Hannah. I found myself identifying him as my own past counselor's, not as useless but still very disagreeable and enunciating of my feelings.
Similarly I was often told what I was feeling instead of being able to freely express my own thoughts, counselors often shove a symptom list idea of suicide down your throat and expect you to throw it back up in your own words. For teenagers it's a struggle dealing with suicidal feelings, there are few ways that you can reach out for help, and to find somewhere the strength in you to admit it is hard enough let alone admitting t to someone else, therefore when you try and get help and the results are useless, you end up feeling even more alone than before.
This makes me wonder if Hannah was a real person would I be able to tell what she was going through? I wonder how many Hannah Bakers there are in this world, feeling exactly Just like her; like there's not a single soul here on earth who understands and cares for them; feeling alone, with no friends to share their secrets and problems with; thinking that there's nothing left to hold on to, so the only option left is to end their lives instead.
She could have passed me by in the halls, or she could be there locking herself in the bathroom, muffling her cries, or she could be there in her bedroom right now, secretly wishing death would Just come and swallow her whole. I learnt from this story that you can never truly understand what goes on in a persons life and that even though they're smiling on the outside doesn't mean that the pain inside isn't unbearable The meaning behind the story is that one small action has the power to change a you're contribution has the ability to ruin someone life, possibly even end it.